My 3-minute talk at daughter’s wedding

By Willie Jose

Getting married is one of life’s dreaded endeavors; despite doing all the needed preparations, thinking about all the ifs and other endless possibilities--the uncertainty of life brings much anxiety not only to lovebirds tying the knots but also to their respective parents.

When my youngest daughter, May got married a few months ago in Ohio, all I felt was joy and real excitement and I think I was the proudest and happiest dad, seeing my little girl and her husband, Fred lovingly caring for each other. As they went around the reception hall, thanking    their visitors--most of who had travelled afar—for joining them in celebrating and being part of their special day.

 During the reception party, May approached and told me that I would have only three minutes to say a few words in that part of the wedding when the bride’s dad is usually given a chance to say his piece. Although, I was not thinking of giving a long lecture, much less a short talk but   “ 3 minutes” is not enough to even to summarize   everything that matters—our feelings, our fond memories of May and our own anxieties.

 My daughter had been with us for almost 27 years, I didn’t know how I could squeeze everything in 3 minutes.

But that night, I had my most memorable 3-minute talk.

Despite that brief talk, now I can still remember advising my daughter, May and her husband, Fred, on the importance of making Jehovah God the center of their life; thus, they can easily cope and surmount whatever problems might come their way. And   when they sense some troubles on the horizon—pray to Him and surely He will give them the peace of mind.

Today, honestly, I can say that my family and I   are happy that our always-smiling and happy daughter has finally married, Fred, a kindhearted man whom we certainly know will always love and cherish May for the rest of her life; together they will be embarking on one of life’s most challenging endeavors —the marriage life.

Occasionally, I feel lonely and we have been missing her--she’s not around anymore to check it myself if everything’s OK with her, and also not hearing her say every morning “ Daddy, good morning”, and then she would kiss me and when she arrives home, and seeing me seating on my rocking chair, she would routinely ask me “ How are you Dad”, then she would kiss me. These are the little things that I have missing a lot. As they say in Tagalog “ Simple lang at mababaw ang kaligayahan ko “  

 I'll also miss May’s loving gestures such as when she would call and tell me, Dad you dress up and be ready I’ll pick you up and we’ll have dinner somewhere” So in short, now that she 5 hours away from us, surely there would be no more Ikki Sushi, our favorite Japanese restaurant on Kingston Road, no more Pho at Warden and no more Vei Pei. And no more the expression” Popeye the Sailor Man Tot Tot.” May loves to eat Popeye chicken

The   reality that she’s not here in our house anymore brings some feeling of   loneliness, more so when I see her former room empty. To ease that sadness, I’ve converted May’s room into my little library, so right now, I’m writing this article in her room. We’re missing   May’s “ noise” because normally when she sees   a whole chicken on our dining table, she would excitedly say“ OH Chicken”— and that's her favorite dish.

 Now we cook less and buy less; we ‘ve gotten rid of our chest freezer, seeing no need for stocking up foods. And when May left our home, that was the only time, when I thought to myself that “ maybe in the near future, we might sell our house, Lilia and I would have to move to a smaller house. For the first time in my life, this life’s downgrading idea has crossed my mind.

OH, how we miss our loving daughter. May, see you soon in Ohio!

I want to retire early but … .

By Willie Jose

Everybody is talking about retirement.

When I  recently broached the idea to some of my  media friends that I’m planning to retire, they quickly  retorted: retiring from what, you mean retiring from  writing?

Well, they were  right, journalists don’t retire – they just fade away.

When wife, Lilia and I visited my 93-year-old Mom in Long Island, NY   a few months  ago, my sister Vicky, discussed with us about her plans to enjoy her so-called Golden Years.

“ I’ll definitely retire once the closing sale of my house has been done” I’m   readying   to retire in North Carolina and I might buy a small house in the Philippines for my vacation trips there.” she said.

With the home equity and pension fund, she will definitely  have a very   comfortable living in the US and the Philippines.

However, many Filipino boomers who have worked for many years in North America are planning to retire either in North America or in the Philippines. But most of them would rather spend a few months in the Philippines and go back to Canada or US, thereby enjoying the best of both worlds. 

My neighbour, a couple,  Aling Lina and Mang Vino, both aged 67, said that they are enjoying their usual 5-month stay in the Philippines and  spendng the rest of the year in  Toronto —and in fact they are  scheduled to visit the Philippines this month.

” We are staying in our house in Sto. Tomas, Batangas, and the life there is simple, we have lots of   fresh fruits, seafoods, all around us are mountains and hills, so aside from the scenery, we also enjoy the cool breeze coming from these mountains. But we have to be back in Canada by April just right in time for the start of the school break of our   grandson,” Mang Bino said.

 “ We are the ones taking care of our grandson during his school break. April is also the tax season in Canada, so, this is the time we have to pay our tax obligation to the government,” Lina said.

”With Lina’s pension of $1200 a month, it’s good enough for us. Kung madadala mo itong pera sa Pilipinas, maganda na ang buhay mo doon. Truly, maganda ang buhay sa Pilipinas, maluwag ang buhay. The prices of commodities are cheap,” Mang Bino said.

While he’s in Toronto, Mang Bino’s normal routine is spending time with some kababayan-pensioners like him, chatting with them at Tim Horton coffee shop, mostly exchanging views on how the Philippine authorities are doing their jobs back home.

On my planned retirement,  I’m putting it  off  for now, but it might do some good if I would  indulge myself in some kind of mental callisthenics--reflecting on how best I could   spend my retirement when the right time comes for me to give up working   for good.

At present, I’m looking forward to a blissful retirement:  prioritising more important things in life, spending time for my family, catching up reading some books, travelling places that I’ve not been to or simply staying more time on the bed without having to wake early in the morning.

And I’m also thinking of   writing my own life ‘s story-- dredging up lots of memories about my pains and fears beating  the Big C, how Jehovah God helped me survive this illness, my struggles to overcome life’s ups and downs, at kung papaano ang maging mahirap sa buhay. I don’t want to forget all these things because they are part of my life— and what’s life without these memories.

With the looming financial instability in North America, my wife and I have decided that we couldn’t retire yet. Retiring this early could only mean thinking about our financial obligations such as mortgage payments, hydro bills, condo maintenance fees,  food and clothing bills.

 For the meantime, we’d just go with the   flow, not allowing life’s anxieties to weigh us down, and stay focused on our spirituality. . On second thought, even if we had saved enough money for our retirement, still it would have been not   enough to give us the peace of mind we need in this troubled world.

At present, we are looking forward to  a bright future and holding on to  what the Holy Scriptures say “ Then he said to them:” Keep your eyes open and guard against every sort of covetousness, because even when a person has an abundance, his life does not result from the things he possesses.” Luke 12: 15

“ Whereas you do not know what your life will be tomorrow. For you are a mist appearing for a little while and then disappearing. Instead you ought to say, “ If Jehovah wills, we shall live and also do this or that ”James 4: 14-15  (New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures)

(williejose1@gmail.com)

Shopping at Goodwill creates

 jobs, helps earth’s greening

By Willie Jose

While I was at Goodwill thrift store one afternoon this month, I saw an elderly woman most probably in her 60s sorting through her cartloads of used clothes and as she was doing this, momentarily her eyes were also taking a fancy at one the paintings there. Two old men, maybe in their 50s were rummaging the racks filled with   old long-playing albums; a young woman was at one corner busily sorting clothes and probably doing some last-minute checking to insure that these stuffs were damage-free.

While I was slumped on a sofa leafing through pages of some books, I saw a young woman holding her three-year-old girl as she was pushing her cart full of various goods. And another young woman was tirelessly browsing racks of women’s clothing and at one time, she was putting the pants around her neck—maybe that’s her way of sizing up the pants’ size if it could fit her.

Seeing these young and old people    sorting out and buying some new and slightly used clothing, CDs, radios, computers, books, home décor, housewares, shoes, bags, et cetera is an ordinary, daily going-on at Goodwill thrift store on Eglinton.

 Somewhere in the store, I read a poster that says, “ I am not just a stack of books, and I can change lives”. Well, that’s true, these books on the shelves are not only for leisure reading but also for educating and transforming people’s lives -- and most especially if they have taken a little of it into their lives. And these books’ costs are really very cheap when compared with their original prices; maybe it would cost you just a fraction of their original costs.

From time to time, one can get some brand new items that probably have not been used by their owners; if one has the patience to browse around the store, who knows, he could find some treasures buried in the piles of these used stuffs.

Donating and shopping at Goodwill give shoppers a chance to hunt for some bargains and also create   jobs for some people with disabilities—and most importantly, they could have a share in the greening of the environment. Also, it’s a good way of recycling these stuffs, thus keeping these used stuffs out of landfills.

Since all purchases at Goodwill are exempt from HST, so one could really stretch his budget by looking for bargains in the store. Patronizing this thrift store is tantamount to indirectly helping people find jobs. This thrift shop has been   creating jobs for people having difficulty looking for work because of some disabilities and extending help to   people   facing barriers to employment such as those who are chronically unemployed youths at risk and the newly arrived immigrants.

 Goodwill provides these people with paid, on-the-job experience and some transferable skills, thereby making    them productive citizens.

Aside from the stream of different people going to Goodwill to hunt for some bargains, from time to time, people could be   seen unloading their used stuffs from their vehicles and donating these reusable items.

 Of course, donating and buying at Goodwill is one way showing our generosity; it’s also a good and practical way to clear out our clutter. Some people might have outlived the usefulness of these used items, but come to think of the beauty and the practicality of giving these discards a brand new life at the hands of the new owners.

While I was doing the treasure-hunting myself, I couldn’t help thinking on the former “ life” of these discarded, slightly- used stuffs, I wish they could talk to tell us their own “ life stories” on how they’ve ended up at Goodwill.  Certainly, these old and discarded stuffs have lots of memories to share with us.

Possibly, this    antique home décor has been prominently displaced in the living room; and these stereo-components, TVs, computers and CDs could have been the prized possessions of their former owners—and in taking good care of them, they would often dusting them off, not even allowing some dirt to settle on their gadgets.

Maybe the people who have donated these new and other slightly- used items to Goodwill would just want to de-clutter their homes, clearing out their closets of discards; possibly, these items’ previous owners have already died and their surviving families have decided to donate their dead loved ones’ belongings instead of throwing these stuffs away.  Or, some people could have decided to downsize and simplify their lives, thereby donating their surplus to thrift shops.

Whatever reason for donating these second-hand items to Goodwill, one thing is clear--our material possessions will certainly outlive us—and we cannot take along with us anything   when the time comes for us to go and say goodbye to this life.

Let’s all take real comfort from reflecting on God’s Word, The Bible-- “ 15 And he went on to say to them all, “Watch out and guard yourselves from every kind of greed; because your true life is not made up of the things you own, no matter how rich you may be.”16 Then Jesus told them this parable: “There was once a rich man who had land which bore good crops. 17 He began to think to himself, ‘I don't have a place to keep all my crops. What can I do? 18 This is what I will do,’ he told himself; ‘I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, where I will store the grain and all my other goods. 19 Then I will say to myself, Lucky man! You have all the good things you need for many years. Take life easy, eat, drink, and enjoy yourself!’ 20 But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night you will have to give up your life; then who will get all these things you have kept for yourself?’”21 And Jesus concluded, “This is how it is with those who pile up riches for themselves but are not rich in God's sight.”—Luke 12:15-20 (Good News Bible, Today’s English Version)

(Williejose1@gmail.com)